My New Love

I love to rummage. Actually, that’s slightly misleading. I love rummage sales: large quantities of slightly used/ slightly unwanted miscellanea at a fraction of the retail price. How could you go wrong? Everything from books to used skis to benches to old records can be found at these sales (I have found that the Methodist church, for whatever reason, always has the most stuff). The main objective of these sales, though, is to raise funds for the church, and to build fellowship amongst the community members (who, oddly enough, will tear at each other to grab the last set of slightly out of shape golf clubs).

At a string of recent rummage sales, I came home with several pairs of boat shoes, a backpack, a bagel slicer, shirts, tie bars, and two different hats. All for under a dollar.

The local churches hose these massive rummage sales in this run down looking factory turned barn, which looks a bit shady at first glance, though with the amount of great finds inside, the unease of the façade generally subsides.

What I don’t understand, however, is the bulk of certain items that seem to be at every rummages sale, without fail. One such item is the wicker basket.

First and foremost, where do these baskets come from? The last time I checked, no one weaves anymore, and if they do, they weave practical things like chair seats or trivets, not containers to hold…whatever. I have a belief that these baskets are in some kind of “members only” club in which they tour the country, finding rummage sale after rummage sale, never being bought, but finding fellow baskets to join them. Perhaps no one made these baskets and they are the product of some bizarre basket breeding? We shall never know.

My next qualm is of the people that buy these baskets. Once you buy these baskets, what do you put in them? Is your house really country themed? It’s Illinois! Your house should be themed gangster or Cubs or hot dogs, not something that never existed in Illinois (and if it did, it was in the 1800, and era I’m sure you have never been too). Additionally, it’s always the same people grabbing at these baskets: middle aged women wearing a sweater/sweatshirt with some appliqué animals, generally horses or cats (depending on the season). And they always have several bags filled with a whole bunch of assorted goods. How much room do you have in your house, lady?

I think the next time I’m at a rummage sale and I see some lady snatching up these woven wonders by the arm load, I’ll just take a lighter and light them on fire, creating a spectacle.

Then we can all enjoy the old baskets. It’s about fellowship, after all.

-t.