Crossing the Finish Line

well... i'm finally done; no more teachers, no more books. strangely, though, i feel empty.

i finished my last desk shift today, and i nearly cried because of the loss.

it's strangely odd that everything seems to crash down at the same time. loneliness, sadness, a sense of loss - i'm no stranger to this at the moment; i never had steady friends, i never knew what was going to happen at home. the only routine in my life was the continual pile of school work that was awaiting me when i got home from school. its been like this for sixteen years. and i hated it.

but now that i will never, EVER be forced to write another paper on Emily Dickinson or qualify my written work with a collection of annotated bibliographies, i'm missing it, and i haven't even left yet.

perhaps its because i know i'll miss the constant routine. i was arguing with a fellow student today about whether or not we as humans are slaves to normality. i argued no, but i think that i'm wrong.

i'll miss school. i'll miss it very much. but i, like many others, need to grow up now.

-t.